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LINE LOST 
LIMERICKS 

A GUEST BOOK 



BY 

FRED Et%OODWARD 



€& 



THE PLATT & PECK CO. 



.■»-» 



\ 3 



v 



COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY 
THE PLATT & PECK COMPANY 

[ft 

023 



INTRODUCTION 

Charles Morris, in his English Dictionary, de- 
fines a limerick as "a verse consisting of five lines, 
of which the fifth is left blank, to be supplied by 
competitors. It must rhyme with the first two 
lines." 

The limerick is a form of verse which suits a 
very happy mood. Unfitted to the solitary, a good 
limerick must be laughed at and laughed over. 
The quip is in the final line and should be a bril- 
liant bit of repartee or a witty turn of the original 
subject into an absurdity. 

The alert mind will be quick to perceive the 
possibilities, not only of temporary enjoyment but 
of real literary pleasure of a high order, as friends 
attempt and succeed in supplying suitable last lines 
for the following limericks. 

In the back of the book are printed the last lines 



INTRODUCTION 

of each limerick, but the guest who autographs the 
volume should supply an original line without re- 
ferring to this index. When filled with the names 
of contributors of "lost" lines, the volume becomes 
an interesting and amusing autograph album, which 
may be doubly dear because of treasured memories. 

An evening of pleasure may be had by giving a 
"Limerick Party/' The hostess furnishes each 
guest with a sheet of paper on which has been 
copied a certain number of "Line Lost Limericks." 
The guests without assistance or conferring with 
one another supply a final line for each limerick. 
The slips are then signed, collected, and read aloud. 
If so desired, prizes may be given for the best sets 
of completed limericks. 

Further amusement may be obtained if the 
hostess then reads aloud the entire limerick includ- 
ing the last line as given in the index. 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



*T*HERE was a young lady named Mabel, 
■*■ Who danced on the dining-room table. 
But she blushed very red, 
When the gentlemen said, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



TN the front row, a man used to passes, 
**" Sat near to the coy ballet lasses. 
They wore so few clothes, 
That he pitied their woes, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE 


LOST LIMERICKS 


T 


HERE was a young fellow who sat, 
Quite thoughtlessly down on his hat, 
He sat there a while, 
And so altered its style, 


THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 


Date ~ 




-=^^> 


AND ALSO BY 


Date - 








LINE LOST 


LIMERICKS 


A 


JOLLY young chemistry tough, 
While mixing a compounded stuff, 
Dropped a match in the vial 
And after a while 


TH E LOST LIN E 


WAS FOUND BY 


Date 


AND ALSO BY 


Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



^T^HERE was a young lady of Eden, 
-*• Who on apples was quite fond of feedin\ 
She gave one to Adam 
Who said " Thank you, madam." 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A 



SWEET little maiden named May 
Once strolled in a park o'er the way. 
She met a young man 
Who kissed her and ran, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



IO 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A FELLOW who worked in a drug house, 
^ ^ Had a brother employed in a rug house; 
But their staying apart, 
Broke each fond brother's heart, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date^ 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



II 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A FELLOW named Teddy Magee, 
■* *• Rolling homeward one night from a spree, 
Met the parson, who said: 
"Ah! Drunk again, Ted!" 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date ... 



12 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



>"T^HERE was a young lady named Banker, 
■** Who slept while the ship lay at anchor; 
She awoke in dismay, 
When she heard the mate say: 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

13 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

' I ^HERE was a grass widow quite proper, 
-*• Who was formerly married to Hopper; 
But he got a divorce, 
As a matter of course. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



'"T^HERE was an old lady in Hocking 
•*■ Who considered profanity shocking ; 
" It is awful to swear! " 
She would often declare, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date .. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

15 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



> | ^HE benighted and heathenish Hindoo 
■** Has to do just whatever his kin do. 
He sticks to his caste 
From the first to the last: 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

i6~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 


'T^HERE was an old Miss from 
•*- Who looked for the leak with 
Alack and alas! 
The cause was the gas. 


Antrim, 
a glim. 


THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND 


\ BY 


Date . ____ 




AND ALSO BY 




Date t 



17 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ BENEDICT out in Dubuque 
■*■ ^ One day made a terrible fluque; 
He was kissing the cook 
When his wife chanced to look — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUN D BY 



Date ~. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a man in Atchison, 
A Whose trousers had rough patchison. 
He found them great, 
He'd often state, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date .. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

19 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ N innocent maid from the city, 
** ^ When she saw what she thought was a 
kitty, 
Said, " 111 give it a pat," 
But she didn't do that, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



20 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MODEST young maiden named Carter, 
*- ^ Lest people should think her a tartar, 
Never talks about dress, 
And would blush with distress 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ... 



21 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ LADY whose name was Miss Rook, 
^ ^ Was taught at a school how to cook. 
The poor fellow she wed, 
I think, now is dead 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



22 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



THERE was a young maid of Formosa, 
If you asked for a hug, she'd say, " No, 
sir!" 
But one day a fresh guy 
Helped himself. Me! oh! my! 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

23 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MORMON boy out in Utah 
-* ■*■ One day chanced to meet his own pa; 
Cried the glad little one: 
" Shake pa! I'm your son." 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date- 



AND ALSO BY 



Date - 

24 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A 



FISHY old fisher named Fisher 
Fished fish from the edge of a fissure. 
A cod, with a grin, 
Pulled the fisherman in — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date~ 



AND ALSO BY 



Date : 

25 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ T~^HERE once was a girl named Marie 
■*• "lam lonely, so lonely," said she. 
When he asked her to wed 
She answered and said: 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

26~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ T" A HERE was an old maid from Pawtucket 
A With a bustle as big as a bucket. 
She filled it with oats, 
And some nasty old goats 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

27 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was an old maid of Peru 
■* Who thirty-one languages knew. 
With one pair of lungs 
She worked thirty-two tongues. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

28" 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



T 



HERE was an old woman of Mocha, 
Who struck at her spouse with a pocha ; 
He said, " Oh, my deah, 
Your manners are queeah. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ... 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

29 



A 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



WISE man exploring the Nile 

Said, " The Sphinx is no doubt all the 
style, 
But yonder there be 
Other ruins, I see, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

30 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



^Tp^HERE was a young man in Havana 
•*• Who slipped on a peel of banana. 
The words that he said, 
As he stood on his head, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ... 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~ 

31 



LINE 


LOST 


LIMERICKS 


' | ^HERE was a young maid from Japan, 
■*■ Who married a Hottentot man. 
The girl she was yellow, 
And black was the fellow, 


THE LOST LINE 


WAS FOUN D BY 


Date 






AND ALSO BY 


Date .... 






____. .. _ 



32 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ MAIDEN whose name was Lucile, 
-* ^* And whose rosy complexion was real, 
Attended a ball, 
But danced not at all; 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

33 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MAIDEN once made a Welsh rabbit, 
Although it's a very bad habit. 
The young man she fed, 
Had a cold in his head, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date — 

34 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a young bumpkin named Sid, 
-*■ Who kissed his girl's ej'e on the lid, 
Said she to the lad, 
" Your aim is quite bad, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

35 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' | % HERE was a young man in Woonsocket, 
■*■ Who wore a girl's phiz in a locket. 
They were married ere soon, 
And after one moon, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date - 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

36~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



^T^HERE was a young lady named Anna, 
-*■ Who sang in the choir high soprano. 
One day during prayers 
She fell up the stairs, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

37 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HE Sultan got sore on his harem, 
-*" And invented a scheme for to scarem. 
So he caught him a mouse 
Which he loosed in the house — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

_ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

'"T^HERE was a young man in Calcutta, 
■*■ Who fell with the pigs in the gutter. 
He sang his good-bye's 
With tears in his eyes, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date -. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

39 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



O AID the stuttering baritone Gantz 
When asked by the baritone Rantz, 
If it was his desire 
To sing in the choir, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

40 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A 



BROKEN-DOWN tenor named Squires 
Wrote thus to a half hundred choirs: 
" Have you a place I could fill? " 
They replied, " No," but still 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~ 

41 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HERE was a young maid of Calcutta 
■* Who played with a goat in the gutter. 
Though extremely low caste 
Shell be still lower cast 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

42 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 


A 

T 


EWE who had swallowed a drachm 
Of paris green said to her rachm, 
" I am going away, 
But as long as you stay, 


HE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 


Date 


~~~ 


AND ALSO BY 


Date ~ 






43 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



T F your wife keeps you puzzled and guessing, 
■*■ And, instead of a comfort and blessing, 

Proves a grievance, don't frown, 

But buy her a gown — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date -. 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

44 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A COWBOY with nothing to do, 
^ ■** Just for practice tried roping " poor Loo. 
It was excellent sport ; 
But siouxn after, in court, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

45 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ "T -S HERE was a young Yankee named Put- 
•*• nam, 

Whose shoes fit too tightly to butnam ; 
So he took out his knife 
And declared : " On my life 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

46" 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A DENVER girl, known as a peach, 
Once went out to Manhattan Beach. 
On the roller skates she 
Took a tumble, and, gee! 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ "T A HERE once was a Scotchman, Mac- 
■*■ Dougal, 

Who, like all his people, was frugal ; 
Whene'er he felt fine, 
'Stead of ordering wine, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

48* 





LINE LOST 


LIMERICKS 


A 


CERTAIN young 
'Mongst cannibal 
To go — 1 
He never 


man of great gumption 
s had the presumption 
3ut alack, 
came back; 




THE LOST LINE 


WAS FOUN D BY 


Date 










AND ALSO BY 


Date 







49 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A WISE man once said to his son: 
" Whenever you think of a pun, 
Go out in the yard 
And kick yourself hard. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

50 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



§ I V HERE was a young woman in Sweden, 
•*• Who read of the Garden of Eden, 
And she thought she would dress 
Just like Eve — more or less — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

51 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



;t sin 



iij SING up to G," said Marie, 

[Ve often been told so, you see, 
Whene'er I sing high, 
The folks who are nigh 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

52 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A GIRL with a ruddy complexion 
Thought dried apples simply perfection ; 
She ate some one day, 
Drank water; we'll pray, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date — 

S3 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ LAZY young fellow named Free 
•*■ Once started to chop down a tree. 

On the third or fourth stroke 
The axe-handle broke. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

54 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' | ^HERE was a young lady named Rose, 
**■ Who played on the harp with her toes; 
She was called indiscreet, 
But she reallv looked sweet, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

55 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



'T^HERE was a young girl of Lahore, 
•*• The same shape behind as before. 
As you never knew where 
To offer a chair, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

_ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MAN to whom illness was chronic, 
**" ■*• When told that he needed a tonic, 
Said, " Oh, doctor, dear, 
Won't you please make it beer?" 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

57 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



HERE was a young woman named Per- 



T 

•* kins 



Exceedingly fond of green gherkins. 
She ate a full quart, 
Which was more than she ought, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

_ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I % HERE was a young girl named O'Dell, 
■*■ Who, while walking down 14th street fell! 
She arose with a bound, 
And looked all around, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date - 

59 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a young lady of Bingham, 
•*" Who knew many songs and could sing 'em. 
But she couldn't mend hose, 
And she wouldn't wash clothes, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ~ 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

~6o~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



P | ^HERE was a young woman named King, 
•** Who'd sit in a rocker and sing. 
She showed so much stocking, 
They told her 'twas shocking. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



D ate . 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date .... 

~1>7 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' ■ X HERE was a young lady of Skye 
■*■ With a shape like a capital I. 
She said, " It's too bad, 
But then I can pad — " 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

~62 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HERE was a young lady named Enus 
Who went to a ball dressed as Venus, 
But the guests thought her rude 
To come in the nude, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date^ 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

63" 



LINE LOST 


LIMERICKS 


A 


NEW servant girl called Maria 
Had trouble in lighting the fire, 
The wood being green 
She used kerosene, — 


THE LOST LINE 

Date 


WAS FOUN D BY 


AND ALSO BY 


Date - 









64 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MAIDEN caught stealing a dahlia, 
** ^ Exclaimed, "You shan't tell on me, 
shalia?" 
But the florist was hot, 
And he said, " Like as not, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date - 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

67 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



'TT^HERE was a young man with a squint, 
-*- Who couldn't be moved by a hint. 
So he lingered and stayed, 
Till her pa made a raid, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date — 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



W 



HEN she said to the doctor, " I'm sick, 
sir," 
He gave her some patent elixir. 
But it tasted so bad 
That the lady got mad, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date = 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

67 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A N ancient New Yorker named Piatt 
** Once went on a terrible bat, 
Whomsoever he saw 
He would paste with his paw, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date — 



AND ALSO BY 



Date — 

68" 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



>T*HERE was a young man in Marquette 
■*• Who knew that he oughtn't to bet, 
But he did, just the same 
On a " sure-winning " game, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date .. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date - 

69~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



* ■ ^HERE was a poor fellow from Lynn 
-"* Who suddenly sat on a pin. 
He loosened a yell 
That sounded like — well, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date* 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

70 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 


T 


HERE was a young girl in a flat, 
Who put up her hair on a rat. 
But the best she could do, 
The rat would show through, 


THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 


Date 


^^> 


Date 


AND ALSO BY 





71 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a young lady named Nickles, 
•*• Who was daffy on cucumber pickles. 
She ate " fifty-seven " 
And then went to heaven, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~ 

72 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



^T^HERE was a strong father named Hank, 
Who promised his boy a good spank. 
And what the boy said, 
As they met in the shed, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

73 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



BLUE-GRASS young man from Ken- 



*- •*• tucky, 



Was proclaimed by his friends very plucky, 
When a widow he wed ; 
But now he is dead, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date - 

74 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

>HE cried: " Will you tell me what this is? 
He said: "Don't you know what a kiss 
is?" 
It took long to tell, 
But she liked it so well 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

75 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HERE once was an ardent young Mr. 
•** Who loved his employer's fair sister. 
One night after tea 
There was no one to see, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

76" 



LINE 


LOST 


LIMERICKS 


T 


HERE was once a clever giraffe, 
Who at racing gave others the laugh, 
At the wire, 'tis said, 
He just stuck out his head 


rME LOST LINE 


WAS FOUND BY 


Date — 














AND ALSO BY 


Date _ 










77 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' | V HERE was an old sculptor named Phidias, 
*** Whose knowledge of Art was invidious. 
He carved Aphrodite 
Without any nightie — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ~ 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HERE was a young girl in the choir, 
**■ Whose voice rose higher and higher, 
Till it reached such a height 
It was clear out of sight, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date. 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date - 

79 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A MAN was at sea in a yawl, 
^ *■ When there suddenly blew up a squall. 
His boat was upset; 
By a shark he was et, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

'AID a lovely young girl named Hortense, 
" My callers are never fresh gents. 
When one gets like that 
I hand him his hat 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date ~ 





LINE 


LOST LIMERICKS 


T^OR beauty I am not a star, 

■*" There are others more handsome by far; 

But my face — I don't mind it, 

For I am behind it; 


THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 


Date 








~~~ 






AN D ALSO BY 


Date 









82 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A LEOPARD once shed a great tear, 
And sighed, " Ah! my life is quite drear, 
For I am covered with lots 
Of these big ugly spots 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date - 

87 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ T~" S HERE was a young fellow named Lees, 
A Who never could learn to spell cheese; 
He tried it with "as" 
In forty-nine ways, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



<*^TO Hoboken ride! You must pay!" 
"Syracuse me not wrongly, I pray; 
Utica ticket from me 
Back in East Tennessee, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date. 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~ 

_ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A SWEET little maiden named Gwynn, 
^ Had a brown little mole on her chin; 

One night much displeased, 
A hammer she seized, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date* 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



TN Chicago they called her petite, 
A For her figure was charmingly neat. 

Of course you can see 

As plain as can be, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date ~~ 

87 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



> I ^HERE was a particular bride 
■** Who objected to eggs being fried; 
Not because of the grease, 
But the touching decease 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

88" 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I v WO dance hall musicians in Butte, 
•*• Were paid to play cornet and flute, 
But they drank lemonade, 
Beer and whisky which made 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

_ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A CROCODILE thought he'd be swell, 
^ ^ So he tied to his tail a big bell. 
When he walked by the Nile 
You could hear it a mile — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date. 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

90 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ YOUNG man whose candor was shocking 
^ Was once reprimanded for knocking; 

Because he had said 
Of the heiress he wed, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date. 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date - 

91 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a young fellow whose grief 
■*• Was something beyond all belief; 
He was usually found 
On a merry-go-round, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ~ 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

92 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A 



TAILOR of highest repute 
Made a suit for a suitor of Butte. 
But when worn, the suit parted; 
The suitor then started 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

93 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



O 



UR stout Irish maid is a buster; 
She dusted a bust with a duster; 
But the bust is now dust, 
For in dusting it bust; 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ... 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

94 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A GIRL in a Paris disaster, 
-* •*- Cried loud for medicinal plaster; 

But the kind that they brought 
Was not what she sought, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 
I 



95 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE once was a damsel named Rhoda 
■*' Who perfectly doted on soda; 
She drank so much fizz 
Well, — it's none of my bizz, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date — 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 


T T E courted a gem of a girl, 

-*" "*■ And told her that she was his pearl ; 
But when they were married 
And ma came and tarried, 


THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND 

Date— s 


BY 


AND ALSO BY 


Date 



97 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A RHEUMATIC old man of White Plains, 
Who will never stay in when it rains, 
Has a room full of drugs, 
Kept in little brown jugs, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

DECREPIT old gas man named Streeter 
While hunting a leak near the meter 
Found the leak, — with a match! 
But went down to " Old Scratch," 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

99 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



N African monkey, quite spry, 
Decided some business to try. 
A shoe-stand he bought, 
And this sign he wrought: 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



IOO 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A 



N inventor set sail for the moon 
In a flying machine from Rangoon; 
He hasn't come back, 
And his wife, — now in black, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 



IOI 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A BRIGHT little boy down in Natchez 
^ ^ Sat once upon powder and matches. 
He hankers no more 
For the real seat of war, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



1 02 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



\ UGUSTUS Fitzgibbons Moran 
*** Fell in love with Maria McCann. 
With a yell and a whoop 
He cleared the front stoop 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

103 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



/ T -S HERE was a young man in Lucerne, 
■*" Who thought he had nothing to learn. 
So to round out his life 
He married a wife, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ~ 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

104 



A 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



MAN owned a cow in Nantucket, 
Which knew a square meal when she 
struck it. 
One night she broke in 
To the oats, — cleaned the bin! 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

105 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



^TT^HERE was a young person named Willie, 
■*■ Whose actions were what you'd call silly; 
At a masquerade ball 
He wore nothing at all, 

THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

1 06 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A VIRGINAL lady of Fife 

Had never been kissed in her life. 
She saw a large cat, 
And she said, " I'll kiss that," 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date - 

107 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



TI 7" HEN the Ark was just over Genoa, 
* * Mrs. Noah burst forth at poor Noah, 
"Who's this Joan of Arc? 
You are keeping her dark!" 

Aq^.iibr.1.i... :.>itki^.^..^j fc 

THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

108 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



T 



HERE was a fair maid named Ramona 
Who ate for the first time — bologna; 

She said, " This is queer, 

I very much fear 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

109 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A FORWARD young man from the West 
^ ^ Put his arm round a pretty girl's vest. 
Then she said, " If you please 
Give a long and hard squeeze, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 



no 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I V HERE was a grass widow named Totten, 
Who stuck to divorces like cotton; 
When they asked, " Who is he?" 
She answered, " Search me, 

THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 



III 





LINE LOST 


LIMERICKS 


T 


FiERE was a young person named Clyde, 
Who was once at a funeral espied. 

When asked, "Who is dead?" 

He smilingly said, 

THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 


Date 










AND ALSO BY 


Date 







u: 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



' I ^HERE was a watchmaker named Dick, 
Who thought he was awfully slick; 
But he couldn't hold out 
He went up the spout ! — 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date . 



AMD ALSO BY 



Date 

113 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



ATOM-CAT with voice operatic 
Was shot by a grouch autocratic, 
Not a hair did he turn, 
For he had lives to burn, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

114 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



A YOUNG man, by name Tommy Darrell. 
"• Lost all of his wearing apparel; 

'Twas stolen from him 
While taking a swim, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



115 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



T HAVE heard of two eggs that once met, 

A Their story is sad I regret; 

The good one was whipped 
While the other was skipped 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date ~ 



AN D ALSO BY 



Date 

116 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

lAIUS CASSIUS an old Roman geezer 
Went out with some friends on a breezer; 
"Who pays for the drinks?" 
Said Caius, " Methinks 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date — 

117 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 

GIRL who was sweet and petite 
Went to purchase some shoes for her feet 
The clerk took down " eights " 
And the chronicle states, 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 



Date 

u8~ 



LINE LOST LIMERICKS 



'T^HERE was an old man who took snuff 
Who said he was happy enough, 
For he sneezed when he pleased 
And was pleased when he sneezed. 



THE LOST LINE WAS FOUND BY 



Date 



AND ALSO BY 

Date 

119 



INDEX OF LOST LINES 



" Oh ! look at the legs, — on the table." . . 

And covered them all with his glasses. . 

That he uses it now for a mat 

They found his front tooth and a cuff. . 

And then both skedaddled from Eden. . 

And now she goes there every day. . 

And now they are both in the bug house. . 
" Sho'm I, parson," gurgled Magee. . 
" Now hoist up the top sheet, and spanker." . 

And the grass widow's now a grass-Hopper. 
" But I really must darn this old stocking!" 

And for trousers he just makes his skin do. . 

We will now sing the fifty-fourth hymn. . 

He's in bed since he got her rebuque. . 

To scratch those parlor matchison. . 

And they buried her clothes — what a pity! 

Should her friends even mention a garter. 

Since Miss Rook learned to cook by the book. 

xA.nd the maid then declared, " Don't let go, sir 
" Indeed ! " said the man ; " who's your ma ? " 

Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher. 
" Yes, siree ; yes, siree ; yes, siree ! " . 

Walked up behind her and snuck it. . 

I don't wonder she's single; do you? . 

But then I suppose you're a jocha." . 

And I'll peer-amid these for a while." . 

Wouldn't do for a Sunday school banner. . 



PAGE 

5 
6 

7 
8 

9 
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ii 

12 

13 
14 
15 
16 

17 

iS 

19 

20 
21 
22 

23 
24 

25 
26 

27 

28 

29 

30 
31 



INDEX OF LOST LINES 



PAGE 



And their children were all black and tan. 

For her stockings had holes in the heel. . 

And when he awoke he yelled " Dab it." • 

You should practice a bit " — and he did. . 

He took out the locket to hock it. . 

As the choir sang — " Lift your hose, Anna." 

Such confusion is called harem-scarem. . 

And they carried him home on a shutter. . 
" Fd j-j-j-jump at the chants!" .... 

He inquires in choirs in quires 

If that goat should be ill bread and butter! 

Please, dearest, be kind to our lachm." . 

The grievance, no doubt, needs re-dressing. 

He was sioux'd for lassiouxing a Sioux. . 

There's nothing else to it but cutnam." . 

Since then she's been sore on — the Beach. 

He'd go blow himself on a bugle. . 

They say 'twas a case of consumption. . 

And let me begin when you've done." . 

And she did. Such a scandal in Sweden ! . 

Invariably murmur, ' Oh, Gee!'" . 

After which we'll take up the collection. . 
" Who says I'm not lucky?" asked he. . 

For she always wore violet hose. . 

She had to sit down on the floor 

" No, no," said the Doc, " that's Teutonic." . 

For they pickled her internal workin's. . 

And exclaimed in a deep voice, " Oh, — graciou 

Or help her old mother to wring" em. . 

But she said, " Come 'round when I swing." 

Which shows you that figures can lie. . 

So they brought her a leaf from the green 'us. 

She has gone where the fuel is drier. . 



INDEX OF LOST LINES 

PAGE 

They'll send you to jail, you bad gahlia." ... 65 

And now he is frescoed with lint 66 

And said, " What a very mean trick, sir." ... 67 

And gleefully gurgle, " Take that." 68 

And the loan sharks are after him yet 69 

His language was really a sin 70 

So she gave the old rat to the cat 71 

Which tickled and pickled Miss Nickles. ... 72 

Was "Blankety! blank! blank! 73 

They all say: "Gosh wasn't he lucky!" ... 74 
That her letters are now addressed Mrs. . . .75 

So up in a hurry he kissed her 76 

And won by three feet and a half ;; 

Which shocked all the ultra-fastidious. . . .78 

And they found it next day in the spire 79 

And his oars floated home — and that's all. ... 80 

And pa helps him over the fence." 81 

It's the people in front that I jar 82 

And stripes are the fashion this year." .... 83 

Till he found he could do it with " e's." ... 84. 

I've no money; Pawtucket away." 85 

And tried to pound it back in 86 

This does not apply to her feet 87 

Of the poor little birdies inside 88 

These two tooters too tight to toot 89 

And it was becoming as well 90 

11 She carries her cash in her stocking." .... 91 

Where he wept till he shook like a leaf. ... 92 

A suit, for the suit didn't suit 93 

If we hadn't been good we'd have cussed her. . . 94 

For in plaster of Paris they cast her 95 

But it's lucky it didn't explode her 96 

He didn't like mother of pearl 97 



INDEX OF LOST LINES 

PAGE 

And that's all he gets for his pains 98 

Instead of consorting with Peter 99 

" Five cents will a monkey-shine buy." . . . .100 

Will cash his insurance check soon 101 

Tho' doubled and trebled with patches 102 

Just ahead of McCann's old brogan 103 

And now, — well, he's having his turn. . . . 104 
And the next day that cow kicked the bucket. . . 105 

Pretending to represent Chili 106 

But the cat answered : " Not on your life." . . 107 

" No, no, I don't know her," said Noah 108 

You must help me remove it's kimona." . . . 109 
For we girls like that kind much the best." . . .110 
He's a husband, perhaps, I've forgotten." . . .111 

"I don't know, I just came for the ride." . . . .112 

He tried to do business on tick 113 

And his howls rose again, quite emphatic. . . .114 
And Tommy hiked home in a barrel. . . . .115 
And got mashed on a naughty soubrette. . . .116 
We'll stick our old friend Julius Caesar." . . .117 

That the calling he got was complete 118 

And that is enough about snuff, ♦ 119 



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